Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Bandana Rules...

Got this from somewhere on the internet and thought I might share. Enjoy :)


There is a problem in America. That problem is, of course, people wearing bandanas when they shouldn’t be and looking like douche bags.

So to help, we have set up the following rules so people can learn when the appropriate times are, and what the appropriate conditions are, to wear a bandana.

  1. To be immediately considered for approval to wear a bandana you must be one or more of the following:
    1. A pirate
    2. A motorcycle gang member or you own a motorcycle and have killed a man
    3. A woman
    4. A child under the age of 8
    5. A cancer patient
    6. A person not of Caucasian descent
    7. An actual cowboy
    8. A train conductor
    9. A homosexual
    10. A tattoo artist
    11. A construction worker who deals with heavy objects
    12. OR
    13. If one of the exceptions described in Sec. II is applicable to you
  2. Exceptions will be made if you can answer "yes" to one or more of the following:
    1. If you are in a life threatening situation
    2. If you have ever cut off one of your own limbs to survive
    3. If you have a scar across one or more eyes
    4. If you have won the strongest man competition
    5. If you have won the iron man competition
    6. If you have wrestled an adult:
      1. bear (Panda and Koala not included)
      2. alligator
      3. crocodile
      4. shark (over 5ft)
      5. tiger
      6. wolf
      7. wolverine
      8. lion
      9. leopard
    7. If you have been raised by wolves
    8. If you have been in more than one sword fights and have been wounded
    9. If you have walked on the moon
    10. If you have thrown a man though a window at a bar or saloon
    11. If you have won an Olympic medal (specific events under investigation)
    12. If you work in heat in excess of 100 degrees and it is used to keep sweat out of your eyes (user submitted)
  3. If you are approved from Sec. I or II you can skip this section and go on to wearing your bandana. If not, and you are still planning on wearing a bandana you must follow the items below:
    1. No manicured facial hair
    2. No wife beater shirts
    3. No "designer" sunglasses
    4. No jewelry except rings
    5. You cannot be in a fraternity
    6. Collar cannot be "popped"
    7. No sandals
    8. You cannot be in a boy band
    9. No shorts
    10. You cannot tan or have a consistent tan
    11. You cannot coordinate it with your outfit
    12. You cannot coordinate it with your pet's bandana
    13. You cannot wear the color pink
    14. You cannot wear it underneath a hat
    15. You cannot wear it on your arm
    16. You cannot wear it while engaged in any activity that does not involve sweat unless stated in Sec. II

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